adoption is a promise

I have been reading a very helpful book by Jayne  E. Schooler called The Whole Life Adoption Book. I am not finished with it, but I love it so far! I keep reading sections out loud to my patient husband. He loves that, of course. I recommend it to perspective adoptive families and also to individuals who have already adopted.

There are two kinds of relationships in life. One type of connection is genetic — such as the one we share with our birth parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and our own birth children. No matter what happens, that tie always exists. Nothing can erase the permanency of the biological relationship.

The other kind is a union that begins with a promise. Marriage is such a union. Adoption is another. The adoption tie, established by the promise to act as a permanent family to a child born to another, mirrors that of a biological family in many ways. However, within that promise are dynamics that set it apart. …

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The author has worked in Children Services and also conducts training for foster parents, so her perspective is particularly helpful for families, like us, who navigate the transition from being foster caregivers to permanent parents. We originally were motivated to pursue a foster care license because we desired to provide children with a safe, loving home. We were surprised and humbled when adoption became an option.

The journey is on-going and the relationships are complex, of course, because all adoption begins with a loss. “Nothing can erase the permanency of the biological relationship.”

Yet our promise to “M” remains. And we look forward to learning and growing as her journey unfolds.

Read Jayne’s book for yourself.

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Two other books to consider are:

I’m Chocolate, You’re Vanilla: Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World

and All About Adoption: How families are made and how kids feel about it.

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Elaine and her husband are licensed as an adoptive family and foster home.

 

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